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Guidelines to follow when touching base with your au pair

Datum: 30/11/2021
Over de Auteur: Manou is naast onze queen of blogs, zelf ook erg actief op insta (@manouzwolle) en is ook het brein achter de Nanny Nina socials (@nannynina_nl). Je kan haar omschrijven als een creatieve, dromerige kluns en een hele goede vriend voor haar vrienden en haar kat Molly.

In this blog you will read more about touching base with your au pair. How often should you do check-ins and which subjects are important to talk about? Do you ask your au pair feedback about the household and how do you make sure he or she feels part of the family? All questions we will answer in this blog. Read on!

Touching base

As a host parent, it’s important to regularly check in with your au pair to keep your au pair appreciated, motivated and in the know about ways he or she can improve. You can decide how often you would like to schedule “touch base” meetings but we would recommend once a week. At least in the beginning.

Childcare, work habits and household

You can decide what you would like to discuss during the meeting but we recommend you discuss at least the following:

  • Childcare: safety, personal care, discipline, activities, nutrition and connection between the au pair are the host kids.
  • Work habits: attitude, communication, dependability, initiative, punctuality and trustworthiness.
  • Household: meal preparation, tidying of the children’s space and the au pairs space, laundry and pitching in as a family member.
touching base with your au pair


Scheduling weekly meetings allows you to communicate easily with your au pair and it’s a great opportunity to ask your au pair to share feedback on your family and household. This way both parties are happy and you are making sure that your children are getting the best care possible and your au pair feels that she is valuated and belongs to the family.

We get a lot of questions from people who would like to stay in the Netherlands after their cultural exchange. Read more about this here. 

Formally recognizing successes and challenges

As stated we would advice to schedule weekly meetings with your au pair to check in on the au pair and keep him or her appreciated, motivated and open for feedback. You decide what you would like to discuss during these check-ins but we recommend to speak about at least about childcare, work habits and household so you and the au pair understand each other and come to mutual agreements.

These meetings are also a good moment for you to ask your au pair feedback on your family and the household. This way you can make sure that your children are getting the best care possible and your au pair feels at home.

touching base with your au pair while sitting at the table

Frequently asked questions

What if we want a rematch?

You pay €800 for a rematch if your au pair has to leave your family. We try to avoid this where possible but we want your family to have a wonderful cultural exchange. The rematch process can vary in length depending on the reason behind it. If we cannot help you work through differences, we can offer you a different profile to consider. If there is a bigger problem because for example, the conditions of the exchange were not followed, then a more detailed investigation is conducted to avoid disappointment with a new au pair

What if my au pair leaves at night, can I create a time where she has to be home?

As a host, you can decide the rules in your house, but an au pair is a grown adult and can do in her free time as she likes. Setting too strict rules will also encourage lying and sneaking around, so focus on honesty and trust.

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